


Heaven is a place, just not on earth.

by RYAN_DOES_AO3



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Afterlife, Car Accidents, Character Death, Death, Heaven, Heaven & Hell, M/M, Overdosing, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:41:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28487013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RYAN_DOES_AO3/pseuds/RYAN_DOES_AO3
Relationships: Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Heaven is a place, just not on earth.

tw: gay slurs, suicide, car accidents, bullying, death, sight mention of an eating disorder and self harm. remember, suicide is never the answer and you are loved. 

richie felt warm all over, a fuzzy feeling in his stomach and that's not just because he’s dead. i mean, it's heaven, why wouldn't the tempature constantly be perfect. oh, that's right. richie tozier is dead, dead as heck. but something inside of him had just came to life, he watched as a boy, almost his height but just some bit shorter, walked with a guide. a guide is basically just someone who shows you around heaven, the different places where you can eat (yes, you can actually eat the food.) where you can go swimming and even where you can go bowling. hell only has bowling alleys that smell like dirty feet, if you were wondering. 

richie watched the boy with dirty blonde hair, shirt curls on top of his head and hazel eyes. richie stood up, beginning to move closer to him. when richie did get over there, he saw stan being led into an ice cream shop by glen, his guide. 

richie hadn't been in heaven long, he had died a couple months ago and it was tragic. suicide is the leading cause in death among teenagers and richie had a terrible story. he was gay, well bisexual to be exact and he came out to his friend group who he thought would accept him but they just made things worse. richie was bullied by the whole school, a closeted town that hated him more than anything and all he wanted to do was escape. horrid notes were being left in his locker, saying things like, "god hates faggots." "get help, pray the gay away." "you're disgusting." "fucking fairy." and just all around terrible things but one thing really stuck with him. 

a note had been written on his desk in sharpie, "fucking kill yourself you disgusting fag." kids laughed at him as he had to scrub his desk clean, too embarrassed to even pay attention in class. when he got home he stood in his bathroom, looking in the mirror at himself and the note he had written to his parents. 

"dear mom and dad, i love you and i'm sorry you had to see me like this, at my lowest point. i've had this on my mind for a while and i know it's not fair to you but who would want a faggot son anyways, tell sarah i love her and that she can have my bracelet collection, she did always love them. don't forget to feed cheeto his favorite snacks on saturday's, it's his reward for being a good boy even though he still eats moms socks. since all dogs go to heaven, maybe i'll see him?  
dad, i'm sorry that i ended up the way i did. not the dead part, lol, the gay part. i know you weren't always fond of gay people and that's why i didn't wanna say anything, i hope you can forgive me. i never did learn how to tie a tie, maybe you can teach bill. i know you always did love him more, even though he's not a tozier. oh, now here's the hard part. mom. hey girl, i like your new haircut, it really frames your face and brings out your eyes. i'm sorry i never told you how much i appreciated your food, i do love your food, even though i stopped eating it a couple months ago. your zucchini is to die for, literally. see what i did there? ;) but in all seriousness, i love you and i've always loved you. i'm one of the lucky kids that know that their mom loves them, i know you'll blame yourself and this is not your fault, it was never your fault. you loved me and i knew it because of the notes you left in my lunchbox, even though i said i hated when you gave me little hearts on the notes but you knew that i needed them and loved them. i'll miss you the most, don't tell dad. okay, bye now! your son, richard wentworth tozier. ps. i hope heaven fixes my eyesight because i can't take these ducking glasses anymore. i said ducking because i know dad hates when i swear :)" 

the news of richie's death spread through the town and a guilt spread through out every student at derry high. when maggie found her son in the bathtub, empty pill bottles on the counter, she broke down. laying at his side at the hospital bed, no pulse and holding his hand tightly. she prayed for it to be fake, prayed that he'd wake up and hug her again with his lengthy arms and cold skin. maggie held the note close to her heart, keeping it in her jewelry box and reading the section he wrote for her every morning, walking through his room and looking in his closet. 

sarah was young, only fourteen, she did get his bead bracelets and she wore them everyday with pride. richie was close to her heart, each bead reminded her of something about him. 

wentworth, god, he resented himself and just wished he could've been there for richie. he visited richie's grave all the time, making sure it was kept clean, bringing him pretty flowers and telling richie he loved him. if only he'd done it when richie was alive. 

when richie did arrive in heaven it seemed peaceful, nobody to attack him for being himself. but let's get back to the real story, shall we? 

richie met up with stan alone in the shop, "i'm richie." he said, sticking his hand out to stan and awkwardly smiling. heaven didn't get rid of his glasses, they still sat proudly on his nose, creating a dent in his face. "you're new?" 

"yeah, fresh from the casket." the blonde boy joked, his eyes sparking like the sun that was always shining. "i'm stan and you are...?"

"richie, richie tozier. i'm sort of new here too, well, i just got here a couple months ago." 

"is it nice here?" stan asked, looking up at richie and smiling lightly.

"i mean, it's the ultimate paradise? so, i think it's pretty sweet." richie smirked, he looked at the ice cream clerk and winking. "can i get two chocolate cones?" richie looked back at stan, "there's not a lot of people here my age, most of the teenagers end up in hell? you must be pretty sweet then, huh?" 

"oh? uh, i'd like to think so?" 

richie giggled, wiggling his eyebrows and showing off his dark brown eyes. "do you have any questions?" 

"they say all dogs go to heaven and cats go to hell? is that true, are there are any cats here?" 

"aren't you just pure?" richie looked over at the clerk and saw two ice cream cones being handed to him, he grabbed them and gave one to stan. "yes, there are cats here, cats are superior anyways." 

"how'd you know i like chocolate?" 

"everyone in heaven likes chocolate, that's kind of one of the only rules here." richie said, licking his ice cream cone and walking out the shop. 

★

everyone in heaven has a little home to call their own, richie lived in a little white house. simple on the outside but the inside radiated color and very hyped energy, different paint and themes on each room. "welcome to casa es tozier!" richie exclaimed, his voice booming as he entered his home with stan behind him. "do you wanna watch a movie?" 

"that sounds great, what do you like to watch?"

"comedies? sometimes horror, what do you like?" richie asked, taking a seat on his couch and patting for stan to sit beside him. he looked at stan innocently and smiled when stan began answering. 

"oh, uh, just like nature documentaries?" 

"those sound wonderful, would you like to watch one with me?" richie scooted closer as stan took a seat beside him. 

"my friend mike and i used to watch them all the time before, well you know?" 

"what happened to mike?" richie gasped, jokingly. 

"jackass." stan smirked, his smirk faded as he and richie started watching tv. a short film about a panda named lily, living in the wild. when it ended they were just sitting there, the credits rolling and silence amongst them. "hey richie?"

"yeah?" 

"you said that you've only been here for a couple months and i've been wondering... how did you die?" stan asked. richie tensed up at the question, looking up at the ceiling. "mines was a car accident, my mom and dad were arguing about some things with my college applications and they weren't paying attention with him behind the wheel. he put the car into reverse on accident with me in the backseat, crashing the back of the car into a tree and i ended up getting hurt." 

"god, i'm so sorry that happened to you." 

"is it bad that i'm upset with them?" stan let out a sigh, not knowing he had felt that way. "i just don't think it's fair, i was the perfect son and it seemed like that was never enough for them. especially when i came out, they started signing me up for so many things, it almost felt as if they didn't wanna see me anymore then they had to..." 

"stan, it's not my place to say if you should be upset with them. i think you should understand that maybe they didn't want was best for you though?"

"i just wish they would've seen how much i hated all that stuff, i just wanted to be a normal kid." stan scoffed, resting his head on richie's shoulder. a slight wetness appeared and richie realized stan was crying, "i shouldn't have died and it was all their fault." 

"it’s okay to be angry, okay?” 

“thanks, that really means a lot.” stan was being held close by richie as he picked another documentary for them to watch. stan fell asleep on richie’s couch, his chest heaving up and down as he began breathing softly. richie picked the shorter boy up, taking him to richie’s bedroom and laying stan down on the bed. 

“sleep well, darling.”

★

stan woke up, his body covered in warmth as he looked around. he was almost freaked out about being in someone’s bed but he remembered that one, he’s dead so nobody kidnapped him and two, he fell asleep at richie’s place. he sat up to to try and find richie, only seeing a pair of dirty white converse sitting sprawled out on the floor and some boxers hanging from a doorknob. “that’s disgusting.” stan got out of bed, making sure all his clothes were still on. stan let out a breath of relief and began looking around the home, finding richie’s talk body standing in the kitchen and drinking coffee. “good morning?” 

“morning stanny, how’d you sleep?” richie knew the answer to that question, every time you slept in heaven it was good. 

“it was actually pretty good.” stan smiled, stepping closer to richie and seeing the strange choice in mug. “where did you sleep? i don’t remember you laying next to me.” 

“i just slept on the couch, i didn’t wanna weird you out.” richie took another sip from the sugary coffee, handing stan a mug of just warm tea. “it’s jasmine flavored.” 

“it’s good.” stan gulped down some of the steaming beverage, letting out a wince at the slight pain. “really forking hot-“ stan paused, “forking hot. fork- forking. what the fork? you know i’m trying to say fork and not fork-?”

“you can’t swear here, so stop trying to.” 

“well, that’s bull shirt. shirt? that’s so annoying.” stan rolled his eyes. 

“hey?” richie got stan’s attention by calling out to him, looking down at the boy with the short curls. “i was wondering if you’d wanna go out to the park today, i wanna show you some of the spots i like to go to?” 

“yeah, that would be wonderful!” stan smiled, the small amount of freckles that dotted his face lit up under the sunshine from the window. “do you and your friends go there?” 

“my friends...?” 

stan nodded. “you know, like people you hang out with?” 

“i said before that there aren’t many people here that are our age, only old people and some toddlers that old people take care of, i’m like one of the only ones?”

★

stan and richie were walking around the park, following the trail as the sun was shining brightly that day. “do you miss your east’s friends?” stan asked suddenly, causing richie’s heart beat to speed up. “you said that you don’t really have any friends here, so do you miss the ones from earth?”

“no, not really?”

“then why were you friends with them?” stan asks, as if it’s the easiest question in the world. “i mean, if you didn’t really like them then why were you even around them?”

“i don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“why? why’re you so secretive about your past?” stan stopped on the path, looking up at richie and crossing his arms. “what could be so bad that you can’t even tell me?” 

“can you just shut up about it, it’s nothing and even if it was something, you should respect that i don’t feel comfortable telling you.” 

“you’re right...” stan sighed. he gave richie those apology eyes and quickly said a hushed, “i’m so sorry.”

“it’s fine, i just don’t like to talk about it.”

“what’s something you never got a chance to do while you were alive?” stan asked, grabbing richie’s hand and continuing down the path. 

“go to college.” 

“how old are you?” stan asked, “and what college did you wanna go to?”

“i was 17 when i died but time kind of keeps going here, so in heaven time i’m 18 but time moves faster on earth.” richie reached in his pocket, pulling out his wallet and showing stan his. “i’d applied to some colleges, i had just gotten a couple of acceptance letters from some colleges but i guess i won’t get to go.” 

★

they laid next to each other under the night sky, looking up at the stars and holding hands. richie let out a sigh and looked over at a calm stan, “i did it...” 

“huh?” stan asked, looking over at richie confused, his eyes shining under the moonlight. 

“i took my life.” richie felt a wave of relief fall over him, “i’ve never told anyone here that.” richie sits up and pulls his knees to his chest. “i just- life just sucked on earth and it seemed like the only reasonable thing at the time.” 

“i’m so sorry, richie.” 

“don’t be sorry, you did nothing.” richie looked at stan and gave him a soft smile but stan wasn’t going for it, he pulled richie closer and kissed him softly. 

“you deserve so much better, you’re amazing and i’m sorry about whatever caused you to do that.” 

“thank you.” was all richie could get out before stan was holding him close.


End file.
